every anniversary, i look through photos. the times we were dating. the parties we had. our wedding, and then wow, everything since then. 9 years of marriage feels both so short, and like forever. i look at the photo above, and remember, ish, my thoughts. it was such a pretty day, that garden was stunning, and alive, and i was marrying this amazing guy i’d found- it felt dizzying. the sense of hope and anticipation was so palpable. to have so many people around us celebrating, i literally felt giddy and like i was buzzing all day.
i wish there was some concise thought i could come up with to impart what marriage feels like. maybe that everyone experiences, and does it, differently. that there’s no wrong way for two people to keep moving forward together. i often wonder what we do different from the people who don’t make it, and i think… it feels deeper than a conscious thought. it feels like there is no decision to stop or give up. we belong together, on the path together, making what we’re making. i don’t question it. my questions are usually just how we can work past differences, fights, hurts, and remain in sync.
i often go back to that day, in that garden, and think how easy it was to pledge to be together, forever. that on the first day, you don’t know what they rest of the days will be like. on the first day, all the days are going to be amazing. who envisions the bad stuff? but the bad stuff, with the right person, isn’t as horrible. the overall feeling after 9 years, is still optimism. i still look at my husband and can’t believe my luck. that we found each other. i wish for a million more moments of laughing, joking, crying, fighting, adventures, kisses, sharing… to forever, and everything that brings.