i remember when i started this blog i was working through a transition phase in my career. the transition was that the economy had failed, and my job was gone. this blog gave me a reason to get out of the house, i met a lot of really great people, and slowly, i regained my (sometimes already shaky) sense of self. i really enjoyed meeting and talking to people about their style, why they loved dressing a certain way, and i really love the way it opened up my mind about inspiration.
i’m at another junction in my career. which is hard to write. i loved my job. i don’t know if a lot of people get to say they love what they do. i truly did. do? of course, there are aspects of any job that are… mundane, or… hard resign yourself to. and although i think my job sounded far more glamorous than it was, being a clothing designer is fun. it just is. it’s not saving lives, it’s not (really) making the world a better place… but it was pretty cool.
i’ve slowly been finding my way on a freelance basis, which is uber hard with two small little people. i have the most amazing day care professional/friend/caregiver. but it’s such a trade off. working freelance should mean flexibility. but because i don’t know my schedule or know when things will get bought, i don’t know when the money comes. i pay for the daycare now, and already it’s been over 6 months of waiting. which has led me to think i should start my own line, which in turn fills me with self doubt and a laundry list of all the things that i don’t know. and then i think of all the people who talk about starting a company, or have started a company, and i think… hey ding-a-ling, you already know so much of it. just figure out the rest as you go. don’t freak out about it before it’s even happened.
and that’s where i am. i’m going to write it, and i’m going to keep doing it. i’m starting a business. i’m going to start with kid’s socks, but that’s just the tip of what i want to do. i want to make things. with my actual hands. i want to teach other people to make things. i want to design, but i’m not just a designer. there’s such a mentality of snobbery in the design world. which has always seemed a little laughable to me. like looking at what other people do, and being ‘inspired’ by it is such a noble, enviable pursuit. i’m done with that box. i’m done thinking that sitting down to a sewing machine will mean the end of my design career. maybe it is. or maybe opening myself up to all the things i can do (and enjoy) will make me a better designer.
*photo quote- also done with the mentality of thinking ‘but that person is already doing it!’ maybe they are. what’s should that really mean to me?