i spend a lot of my daily life wondering if my 'career' is over. surely it can't be? usually i do this 'wondering' as i draw something, make something, create another thing that my compulsive brain has drawn me towards. yesterday i taught myself some excel functionality, so i can get my book reading tracker closer to the book reading tracker of my dreams (revisited every january, and every january, excel education, and a better reading tracker). is my spreadsheet going to get me a job? uhm, not to my knowledge? i'm the only one who uses it. but i've certainly never seen one like it, and every time i show it to anyone, they want it.
that gets me thinking about commodifying my talent, and that is... a deep, swirlying eddy of... madness? i don't know. i like creativity. i like knowing myself, and what i'm capable of. i'd be happy to work somewhere where my creativity was an asset to someone else, but i feel... awful? at selling myself. if i've applied for a job, it's because i'm pretty sure i can do it, and an interview is honestly, from my point of view, a vibe check. are you people i could fit in with? if you need me to sell me, maybe i need an interpreter. an agent? i need an agent.
i think honestly, if i'm answering questions like 'what's your greatest weakness' i'm going to have to be real, and i guess, not employed. my greatest weekness is sylvanian families. shopkins. mini brands. small, cute, tiny toys, that are just inexpensive enough that i somehow justify buying more than i should. let's add hello kitty to that list. if any sanrio character is added to any product, i immediately want it. ramen? yes. socks? god, yes. marshmallows, face cream, chairs, or lets be honest, suppositories? immediate buy. i can't go to barnes and noble and NOT go look at calico critters. even though i'm on a strict, no-buying budget (no one employed for over 12 months). is it painful? completely. but the trip to exclaim and paw over them? euphoric.
my greatest weakness is myself. always. knowing myself, i know absolutely where my pitfalls are. i can just as easily say, my greatest strength is myself. am i going to sell my weaknesses (or strengths) to prospecitve employers? not currently. i had two interviews last year. hundreds of jobs applied, and two interviews. i'm unsure where my career is headed. i'd love to be a contributing creative on a collaborative team full of people who know their own strengths and weaknesses. who are looking for less of a hard sell, and more of a vibe check. bonus points if they love the calico critter baby packs (iykyk), mini brands keropi backpack, and they're looking for their next kick ass book tracker. i might just be your new best friend, or... co-worker????? jk. xoxo- k.
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